Tips for Handling Rejection
You’ve worked hard. You did everything you were supposed to do. Yet, you keep running into brick walls. How do you keep your sanity?
You’ve taken the classes. Learned your craft. You’ve scored considers and third-party validation. Moreover, you’re diligent about networking and you’re on the ball when it comes to marketing your scripts.
(If you have any questions about how to network or how to sell yourself or how you can get your script out there or how to write a query letter that shows off your screenplay in the best possible light, then simply check out the linked articles.)
OK, so let’s say you’ve done all of that, yet it’s still a slog and all you have to show for years of effort so far is a file full of passes… and you want to bash your head against a wall.
So how to deal with it?
1. Don’t Put All Of Your Eggs In One Basket
The most important way to keep yourself from going all Peg Entwistle (the woman who jumped off the Hollywood sign in the 1930s because she couldn’t handle the constant rejection anymore) is to have more than one project going at any given time. If you have only one script you’re marketing, you will drive yourself crazy. Because every rejection and every setback will feel like life or death.
The trick is to always have several plates spinning. To mix a metaphor: if one horse gets put out to pasture, you’ll still have several more in the race. This also allows you to avoid the “stuck waiting” trap. While one project is in waiting mode, focus on others.
Always keep moving the ball–any ball–downfield.
2. Know What You Can Control… And What You Can’t
Not to sound like a self-help book, but there are areas you have complete control over. How polished is your script? Well, that’s up to you. How easy are you to work with? That’s also up to you. How hard do you work? Very much up to you.
And then, as a writer, there are tons of things that are simply out of your hands. Whether or not the person you submitted to “loves” the script… is not up to you. (And by the way, producers love the word “love.” “I just didn’t love it enough” is Hollywood-speak for PASS.) How the producer puts together your project? Not up to you. In this business, you’ll be lucky if they “meaningfully” consult you. (Meaningful consultation is a contract term you’ll come across. The wording is vague for a reason.) Whom the director casts or how they direct the movie–not up to you. How they market the thing–unless you’re THE producer (as opposed to “a” producer), you’ll likely have nothing to say.
We could go on and on here. But the big takeaway is: the things that are out of your control, you’ll have to let them go. It won’t do you any good to moan and groan about “what are they doing? They’re screwing it up!” It’ll just make you impossible to be around. (Not a good thing for your career, FYI.) As some Disney princess once sang, Forget It, Jake. It’s Chinatown. Oh no, wait, it was Let It Go. Eh, same difference.
Accept that in this business, as a writer, many, many things are out out of your hands. All we can do is try to write the best script we can… and accept that the vast majority of the time, we simply have no control over the outcome.
3. Find Control And Be Creative
Got years a passes under your belt, and you want to see your work on the screen? How about writing a short film and getting your friends together and shooting it? By the way, a short film doesn’t have to be 25 minutes long. 5 minutes is totally fine. (Remember to absolutely keep it under 10 though–much easier for festival directors to program.) Come up with a cool and doable concept. Anybody with AfterEffects can do VFX nowadays. A short can open doors, and if it garners some awards love and heat, potentially lead to a feature adaptation down the line.
Don’t want to direct? Cool! You shouldn’t have any difficulty finding a director trying to build his or her resume who will work for pizza. As a bonus, you’ll meet more people in the industry doing this. And you can go the festival route and garner some accolades if you chose to do that. You can find a bit more on shooting short films right here.
A short film is a great way to move your career forward even when the gatekeepers are saying no. But it still has to be good to into the festivals, so make sure to spend the time needed to develop it like any other script.
4. Find Your Tribe
As writers, we tend to isolate and stare at a screen. That’s not healthy. Also, it can make us believe that we’re the only ones experiencing our present frustration. And nothing could be further from the truth. Join a writers group. Not only will you hone your craft, but you will also form relationships with people who understand exactly what you’re going through. Even better, doing so gives you deadlines: a great way to increase your productivity.
And even if you don’t want that type of weekly or bi-weekly commitment, how about regularly getting together with the people you went to film school with? Or people you’ve met at pitching events, movie showings, on a set, etc.? Hey, you may have to be the one to organize it–sometimes people get a bit lame or lazy–but it’s worth it.
Simply being able to vent your frustrations with others who are in the same boat might be just what the (script) doctor ordered.
5. Have A Life
Don’t be the person that sleeps, eats, and breathes this business. First of, if you do, then what the heck do you have to write about? Secondly, remember that your life is now. Sometimes creatives make the mistake to be so laser-focused on “making it” that they’ve convinced themselves that their lives will start only after they’ve “made it.” So they forego friendships, hobbies, relationships, travel, families–you know, everything that makes life worth living–in favor of the pursuit. If you’re in that state of mind, every failed project will feel like a world-ending catastrophe. Don’t do that to yourself.
And finally:
6. It’s Part of the Job Description
Sometimes it’s hard to remember that all this rejection is actually a big part of what we signed up for. Now some of us may charge into screenwriting thinking it will be easy because we’re sassy and clever and can turn a phrase. Or we see a movie and go, “Ugh, I can do better than that.” And you likely can. But the fact is, being clear-eyed about the process of breaking-in is essential.
It comes down to expectations management. If you expect it will take 5-10 years to break in (on average,) and that’s with writing two new pieces of material/year, then it becomes a lot easier to handle the constant rejection because it’s expected. When you expect it, it lessens the sting. All part of the journey. It thickens the hide and builds character (no, seriously.)
This long process is also important because it separates the wheat from the chaff. The ones who make it to the end of the marathon and survive the slings and arrows have (generally) become well-seasoned and industry-savvy and are ready for the bigs. While those who aren’t drop away.
So just remember: all those passes, being eliminated from contests without even making the QFs, and the seemingly endless frustration–it’s normal.
And you volunteered for it.
Embrace the journey. That “pass” is just a stepping stone on the way.
Go get ’em.