Let’s Talk About Relationships

The Networking Dance

How do you get to know people?

You’ve heard it before: this business is all about who you know. And assuming you weren’t born into show business, how do you get to know people? This is a question that comes up a lot. In particular, from screenwriters. Let’s face it, most of us are very happy pecking away at our keyboards by ourselves. Being the extroverted social butterfly might not be in our wheelhouse. And even if we are personable, where and how do we meet people who can help us?

Okay, let’s break it down. First, let’s talk about the right way and the wrong way to look at networking. If you’ve been in this business for over a day, you’ve probably come across some blabbermouth who can’t shut up about all of their accomplishments (like that their script was a quarterfinalist in the Nowhere, USA, contest), and the arrogance that masks their desperation makes you cringe. You guessed it, that’s the wrong way.

What steps to take?

Step one might be to look at this not as “networking” but simply as meeting new people who share your interests.

Step two is to have an actual conversation with them. Show an interest in what they’re doing. Ask questions. And, yeah, retain the answers because you might be interfacing with them again in the future, and don’t you want to be the only one who remembers their dog’s name?

Step three: If you feel the person is amenable to that, exchange contact info or at least Instagram handles. (But actual email is preferable—sorry, Gen Z.)

Step four is to make the above a habit. Do that at any and all events you’re at. No matter if it’s an “industry” gathering or not. One of the biggest mistakes many aspiring creatives make is to dismiss people or events as “not helpful” or “beneath” them. (And that, kids, is why people think this business is full of a$$holes.) First of all—sorry if this is a blow to your ego—nobody is beneath you. Second of all, if your one and only reason to go anywhere is to advance yourself (as opposed to being sociable, meeting new people, and having fun), it’ll show.

Where do you find events conducive for networking purposes?

Next up, where do you find industry-related people and events? Film festivals, screenwriting classes and/or groups, panel discussions, workshops, WGA events (there are quite a few you can attend even if you’re not a member), meetups, conferences, and the list goes on and on. Now somebody reading this might say: “But I’m not in LA!” Guess what, the answer is the same. Apart from the WGA events, which are usually LA and New York-specific, you’ve got access to all of the above where you are. In fact, if you’re in a smaller city, it might be even easier for you to get a foothold in the local filmmaking community.

Additionally, don’t forget the network you already have. Who did you go to college with? Where are they now? Is your ex-roommate’s spouse in the business? Is your former co-worker’s parent an assistant at a studio? Look at everyone you know and see if there’s an in.

You got a meeting! Now what?

Say you get a meeting with someone–what do you do? All of the above still applies. Don’t go in there desperately trying to advance your career. You’re one entertainment professional meeting another entertainment professional. More importantly, you’re a person meeting another person who is in the same business. Presumably, this person has more experience (or a different type of experience) than you do. Maybe there’s something you can learn. Basically, change your mindset to make this a positive experience, no matter what, as opposed to a jitter fest with you hyperventilating to get somewhere.

Always research the person you’re meeting with. What projects have they worked on? Do you know anybody they know? Did you go to the same alma mater? It’s always a good idea to start a conversation with “I loved x movie” that they produced. Or “so-and-so says hello.” (Needless to say, only if any of the above is true.)

The thing most people forget about!

Let’s get to a crucial step that most people seem to completely forget about: staying in touch. Okay, Gen Z, I don’t mean to be ragging on you—but come on. A like on an Instagram post is not “staying in touch.” Now, how do you stay in touch? Please, don’t make yourself a nuisance by emailing all the time. Only get in touch when there’s a reason to. For example, you just got a project off the ground, got a screenwriting fellowship, or won an industry-approved contest. In other words, you had some serious career progression. Or, conversely, if they did. For example, the movie they produced just got kudos in the press, or they were promoted, or they hung out their own shingle. Bonus points if you can figure out a way to remind them who you are. (Hey, they’re meeting thousands of people every year.) That’s where relating to them as fellow human beings comes in. “I’m the other person in LA who prefers Chicago deep dish pizza.” “We both thought the Red Sox should have won that game.” “I’m the one who quoted the book you had just optioned.”

Basically, it all comes down to being a person before being a (desperate) screenwriter.

Now go get ‘em.